From Overwhelmed to Overcomer
Let's be honest, this first half of 2020 has been tough! At the beginning of the year, we were asked the question, "What do you see? Do you see giants or God?" Oh, did the giants come! Quarantine was harder than I could have imagined. There was the rush to set up home offices and school space and the adjustment to being together...all...the...time. If you were like me, you prayed all day every day for patience, understanding, and protection from COVID-19. As the weeks went by, the news of virus spread and death and data from all over the world became overwhelming. It was a lot to digest. It felt like as soon as I got my bearings again we were in the throes of the Black Lives Matter surge. The news was difficult to watch and hear but we (I) had to see the faces and say the names of the victims of police violence. My heart was torn between and pride and concern knowing that my children and people close to me were attending protests and rallies. Would they be next? Again, I was overwhelmed. So overwhelmed that my prayers stopped. I didn't know what to say. I felt anger, heartbreak, confusion, and near torment. Social media post from both sides were flooding in. The news...online, TV...just became TOO MUCH to be quarantined with. We couldn't go to church, see and feel the people in our circle. Honestly, Zoom, Face Time, and Duo are great but normal human interaction was desperately needed. I'll admit, I don't do well with change under regular circumstances, so this was super difficult.
I decided I didn't like the way I was feeling so I "quarantined" myself from social media. No more posting or reading FB posts, deleted my Twitter account and unsubscribed from newsletters. I limited my news watching. It still wasn't enough. Then I realized what was missing. I'd stopped reading my daily scriptures. I'd stopped praying as much as I had been - mostly because my morning drive to work was my prayer & praise time. I had only changed part of my routine. My prayer time and praise/worship time should never have stopped. The bible tells us to pray without ceasing and to give thanks in all things (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18). It's the only way to overcome feelings of fear, doubt, and sadness. There is so much going on in our world, country and cities that we cannot afford to put our prayer life on hold. We were not built to carry the burden but to overcome it all by casting our cares on the One who can handle it all and trusting the Lord to see us through.
It's okay to admit you are not okay. If you are struggling, seek the help you need through your local church or a mental health professional.